Hello Sejla. I am here to check your assignment. I noticed a glaring error on the phrase "like a o hot summer day," and I would like to see the "o" removed. In the phrase, "as I step closer," step could be, "stepped." There is some rendunacy at "Then I step closer." Since the reader understands what is going on, you don't have to include that. There is some grammmar errors that were glaring as soon as I could see them. What I noticed the most was the redundancy of the word, "then." What I liked about it was that you were talking about the mill, and how you managed to tell a story, but it still needs work. The picture was very amazing, but it still needs some improvements.
Sejla, Ask for assistance on how to link to google docs without showing the whole wed address. I like your title. Seems pretty long to be one paragraph. This is an excellent piece of writing. There are some grammar/word choice errors, but I really felt that I was also there, seeing and feeling the things you describe. A good concluding sentence. Excellent effort. 23/25
Hello Sejla. I am here to check your assignment. I noticed a glaring error on the phrase "like a o hot summer day," and I would like to see the "o" removed. In the phrase, "as I step closer," step could be, "stepped." There is some rendunacy at "Then I step closer." Since the reader understands what is going on, you don't have to include that. There is some grammmar errors that were glaring as soon as I could see them. What I noticed the most was the redundancy of the word, "then." What I liked about it was that you were talking about the mill, and how you managed to tell a story, but it still needs work. The picture was very amazing, but it still needs some improvements.
ReplyDelete3 out of 5 stars.
-Odin
awesome essay!!! a couple spelling/grammer errors but other wise very good
ReplyDeleteSejla,
ReplyDeleteAsk for assistance on how to link to google docs without showing the whole wed address.
I like your title.
Seems pretty long to be one paragraph.
This is an excellent piece of writing. There are some grammar/word choice errors, but I really felt that I was also there, seeing and feeling the things you describe. A good concluding sentence. Excellent effort.
23/25